“You have your milk,” he said. “Where there is milk, there is hope.”
Scientists are puzzled by what caused the Earth’s axis to tip a tiny amount. Some experts believe burning huge quantities of fossil fuels prompted the oh-so slight shift, others blame climate change, droughts, or the massive Japan quake. I’m sitting on the real answer. The tipping point occurred when, at the Jackson house, we ran outta milk. We went dry a few weeks back and the seismic activity at 1158 East 2620 North registered an epic magnitude 9.5. Mystery solved.
Apparently, we aren’t the only fam that thinks breakfast cereal makes the world go round. In Fortunately, the Milk things run amok when Mum’s out of town and Dad ‘s in charge. When Dad splits for the corner store in search of moo juice, he takes “ages and ages” to return. “Where have you been all this time?” The question was straight forward enough. Dad’s answer morphs into a fantastical tale that pinballs from one astonishing scenario to the next. His explanation involved all the good stuff: grumpy-looking globby aliens that think plastic flamingos are the highest art form on the planet, scurvy pirates, a god of people with short, funny names, brightly colored ponies, wumpires, and galactic police of the dinosaur kind. Who can forget Professor Steg? A time-travelling stegosaurus who was large but light on his feet.
This witty little read is bound to cheer your youngins. Neil Gaiman’s zany brain has me thinking that like our milk supply, we can’t have nearly enough of this award-winning author in house.