In Honor of Friends

“Why did you do all this for me?” he asked. “I don’t deserve it.  I’ve never done anything for you.”
“You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in and of itself is a tremendous thing.”

I’m speechless after Rae’s last post.  Haven’t dared to write a word in lieu of savoring her kindness, as rare as it is big-hearted.  It makes me wish this: if Rachel lives to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one so I never have to live without her.  She has been a halcyon joist that has unquestionably held up the house of my existence.  I depend on her.  Always. That fact alone should warrant more vacation days for her. 

There I go getting greedy.  Rachel is here on a little Park City vacation, so I got to see her today.  And I’ll get to see her tomorrow too.  By day 3, I’ll be petitioning her to stay for good, offering all sorts of incentives.  The blog should be motivation enough, right?  It’s always the logistics that speedily drag our plan to live near each other down, down, down to the ugly netherworld.  But, even if proximity is unkind, I have to remember that I’m so lucky to have her. (Lucky doesn’t even cut it…what can I say, my brain is tired.) 

So in honor of friends, the kind that understand your tears and your laughter, the ones who say nice things behind your back, and that help you live your story, here are a few reads that celebrate mutual attachment of the very best kind. 

Little Women

This is one of Rae’s all-time favorite reads. (I’m sure she’ll write a rave review at some point about this pearl.) Suffice it to say that Louisa May Alcott reminds all of us that some of our very best friends should be our blood relatives if we’re doing it right. After all, they’re the people who have known us well the longest.  

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Laila and Mariam’s friendship is the heart and soul of this novel.  Because they live in a society where women are not meant to participate in the public sphere, the importance of friendship as a means of escape is especially apparent.  These women also validate and dignify one another in the face of oppression.  I love the loyalty that exists between the two—their lives are nowhere near ideal, but their friendship’s close.   

Charlotte’s Web

Even if you’ve outgrown kid lit (is that possible?), this book is “just about perfect.” It’s a sweet reminder that friendship requires loyalty and sacrifice, and taking care of one another.  Maybe more importantly, we walk away with the idea that friendship endures—it’s bigger than life itself.  That’s right E.B., that’s exactly right.    

Posted by Tracy

Everyone Needs A Tracy

The older we get, the more we understand that the women who know and love us—and love us despite what they know about us—are the joists that hold up the house of our existence. Everything depends on them.

It's Tracy's birthday and I'm down with the flu. No matter. Ain't nothin gonna keep me from celebrating my Tray. When it comes to her, I will always show up. Always. I'm getting old and let's face it, I may die from this flu—okay not really, the fever is making me melodramatic—but surely I've reached the age where I can dispense a little advice? Humor me. I'm on my deathbed after all. So here they are, three simple words that will change your life: Find your Tracy.

Let's face it, life can be hard. Maybe you've been spared the big stuff so far, but rest assured it's coming. That's not the melodramatic fever talking either, that's just the cold hard truth. And when that phone call comes in the middle of the night or you get bad news from the doctor, you're going to need a Tracy to cushion your fall and pick you back up. Real friendship doesn't come easy. It takes work and time. Most of all time. And in the words of our imaginary BFF, Anna Quindlen, "To be a good friend and to appreciate the value of friendship requires honesty and concentration."

Oh but it's worth it. Especially if you find a friend like Tray. Trust me when I say that life has hurled some significant wallops our way these past several years and I can't imagine going through any of it without Tracy. She is the definition of a once-in-a-lifetime friend: loyal, encouraging, providing much needed laughter when all looks grim, and crying with me in my darkest moments. And light. She is full of light. Most of all, she's got the words of Henry James written on her heart: "Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind." Happy Birthday to one of the kindest people I know. Here's to years filled with lots of candles, plenty of cake, and loads of laughter (the wrinkle-inducing kind). And just more time spent with you, one of my life's greatest gifts. Love you Tray.

*PS: Anna Quindlen's Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake makes a perfect gift for your own once-in-a-lifetime friend.

Posted By Rachel

The Great Escape

Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life. —Fernando Pessoa

It’s time to pull out my old 45’s—the ones I played throughout braces and badly feathered hair.  Although I’d be tempted to spin “Blinded by the Light” or “Pinball Wizard,” I’d definitely play David Soul’s “Don’t Give Up on Me Baby” for Rachel and all of you.  (Am I dating myself or what?)  Man these times have been hard. Work has been all-consuming and some of my closest family members have been hospitalized.  Never mind I’m still mourning Prince and now, the Golden State Warriors’ loss.  What’s a girl to do?

Escape comes to mind. Vacation is always a great escape. But since the sand and sea are far from me, I’m gonna have to read to get away from the rigor.  I’m good with that.  The boys and I just finished Wolf Hollow—loved it, every one of us.  So what’s next?  I got 4 books in the mail today.  Yep, F-O-U-R books! (My fab friends forget I’m a vampire; in lieu of birthdays, I’m opting for aging more slowly.)  So here are a few reads on deck that you might want to check out:

Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend by Matthew Dicks

One of my dearest high school friends, who’s a prolific reader, sent me this novel with a note that said, “It’s divine to be 29!”  I’ve still got a cheesy grin on my face. In the spirit of Crenshaw, this creative and clever novel shows how we get by with a little help from our friends, even those of the imaginary sort. One Amazon reviewer raved, “I cannot give this book too many stars! It’s a unique treasure.  Read it.”  That’s what I’m gonna do.  Thanks K.P.

Gilead by Marilyn Robinson

Rachel and Ted both love Marilyn Robinson.  I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t read the prize-winning author. So this gift felt particularly thoughtful.  In the words of Kirkus, this is a novel “as big as a nation, as quiet as thought, and moving as prayer. Matchless and towering.” Matchless sounds good to me right about now.  How bout you?

Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys

In our semi-frenzy to choose June’s book club pick, Rachel and I settled on this promising read.  Until I realized I already had a winner in my amazon cart.  Is anyone afraid for me? (We laughed about my absent-mindedness…better than crying, right?)  But I’ve had my eye on this young adult read ever since.  It’s a fictionalized story based on a true tragedy.  Steve Sheinkin, author of Newberry Honor and National Book Award finalist Bomb, ballyhooed with “a rich, page-turning story that brings to vivid life a terrifying—and little known—moment in World War II history.

Posted by Tracy

Literary Dads We Love

"We're the safest folks in the world," said Miss Maudie. "We're so rarely called on to be Christians, but when we are, we've got men like Atticus to go for us." —Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

When it comes to dads, Tracy and I hit the jackpot. Big time. We could each write an ode to our fathers' gentle strength, immense kindness, larger-than-life hearts, and their way of being the calm in every storm. They've set the bar high, so it takes quite a man, fictional or not, to impress us. Here are a few literary dads who made the cut:

Atticus Finch. Of course. The Atticus of To Kill a Mockingbird, that is. Hopefully you skipped Go Set a Watchman and spared yourself the heartache of seeing one of literature's greatest father figures besmirched. Clearly, I have strong feelings on the subject. You can read them here.

The Book Thief's Hans Hubermann, whose love for Liesel proves fatherhood is not bound by flesh and blood. This passage about Hans appearing each night to chase Liesel's demons away says all you need to know about him: "Trust was accumulated quickly, due primarily to the brute strength of the man's gentleness, his thereness. The girl knew from the outset that Hans Hubermann would always appear midscream, and he would not leave."

Jeremiah Land from Peace Like a River. “Many a night I woke to the murmur of paper and knew (Dad) was up, sitting in the kitchen with frayed King James - oh, but he worked that book; he held to it like a rope ladder.”

The Bartender's Tale's Tom Harry. "...he added up to be the best human being there ever was. [And] the absolute best father of all time, in ways I could count....[As] peculiar a pair as we made, the bachelor saloonkeeper with a streak of frost in his black pompadour and the inquisitive boy who had been an accident between the sheets, in the end I would not have traded by involuntary parent for a more standard model."

I'm sure there are more. I'm already fretting about leaving out Jean Valjean and Ordinary Grace's Nathan Drum. Did I forget one of your favorites? And of course the moment calls for a shout out to some of literature's worst: King Lear and Harry Wormwood immediately come to mind. Happy Father's Day! (I sure miss you, Dad.)

Posted by Rachel

Grief Is A Common Denominator

My mother used to say my father and I thought in the same circles. I never understood it until I watched us later, in memories—when we were gazing at the sky (and we often were) we could unconsciously turn in the same direction and extract the same face from the clouds.

Father's Day is hard for me. While I gratefully celebrate the man who is the center of my kids' worlds, my heart aches from missing the man who was the center of mine. Nothing prepares you for losing a parent. And nothing is ever the same again. Every joyful moment or milestone is tinged with a lingering wistfulness, a sense that something—or rather, someone—is missing.

At first glance, Girl at War's Ana Jurić and I could not be more different. She's a ten-year-old Croatian girl, caught in the middle of a civil war, whose life changes forever in a brutal instant. She's seen things I hope to never see in my lifetime, lived through the unimaginable, and come out on the other side of it, bruised and beaten, but alive. Fiction can bring other worlds to our doorstep, remind us that the people we see in news snippets nations away are more like us than they are not. They're mothers and fathers whose first thoughts in the morning and last at night are of their children—children who once played soccer in fields where sniper fire rains. Who once played with toys and now carry guns.

Fiction does have its limits though, and without living the story myself, I cannot know what it feels like to be a girl at war. But I know precisely what it feels like to have a father I adore. One who, like Ana's, makes me feel better just talking with him, no matter the conversation. One who would do anything to shield me from harm. And I know loss. The deep kind that separates the person you were before from the one you are after. So Ana and I aren't that different after all. Not where it counts. We've both learned the lesson her father taught her, that "sometimes hard things are worth the trouble" and looking back, we still prefer our own lives, "even with [their] sorrows, over all the ease and happiness in the world."

*Girl at War was our book club selection for April. For further discussion that may include spoilers, see my comment below and feel free to let us know your thoughts on the book there as well.

Posted by Rachel

Dads And Grads

It’s that time of year.  When grad caps and advice is flyin’!  When we’re reminded to “Go confidently in the direction of [our] dreams and live the life [we’ve] have imagined.” (Rachel, are we doing it wrong?) So we’ve come out of unintentional hiding to share a few timely picks for your shiny grad or for your awesome book-lovin’ dad.

GRADS FIRST

Very Good Lives by J.k. Rowling

I gave these words of wisdom from the girl who grew up to write Harry Potter to Rachel’s grad girls (along with Whatever You Choose to Be). Cash inside the cover may have created more stir. This book began as a commencement address given to Harvard grads in 2008—boy, they were the lucky ones.  Rowling’s words are emotive; they had a profound impact on me as I read about how to embrace failure, and how to use my imagination to improve myself and others.  This is fantastic for grads, or everyone honestly.

Whatever You Choose To Be by Ann Romney

The former Lady of Massachusetts and all-around rock star role model, Ann Romney, imparted eight key life lessons in a commencement address she gave just two years ago.  She gives honest and inspirational advice she wishes someone would have offered her for the road ahead, after college graduation.  I trust Romney. I’ve met her several times and I’m always impressed by how sharp she is and I’m astonished by how firmly her feet remain on the ground.

NOW DADS:

Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard

I just gave Destiny of the Republic to one smart dad and he reported back that he’s lovin’ it! This New York Times best seller is an extraordinary account of James Garfield’s improbable rise to the American Presidency.  He triumphed over abject poverty, political corruption, and medical challenges.  One reviewer gushed, “One of the many pleasures of Candice Millard’s Destiny of the New Republic is that she brings poor Garfield to life—and a remarkable life it was…fascinating…Millard has written us a penetrating human tragedy.”

The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara

Why haven’t I written a throw-back post about this compelling book?  If your pops hasn’t read what has been called the best civil war novel ever written, he’s in for an unforgettable read. Years ago, I found myself turning pages of Shaara’s Pulitzer-prize winning novel about the battle at Gettysburg deep into the lightless morning hours in lieu of REM sleep. How many historical novels can do that to a gifted sleeper?  I’d like to re-read The Killer Angels when time and I become friends again.   

*If you're looking for a more recent read for your dad, we're hearing good things about Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow.

Posted by Tracy

Am I The Only One Who Didn't Know About This?

The very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.

I shouldn't admit this to anyone, let alone Tracy, as she wrote her thesis on the esteemable Lady Jane, but I knew nothing about this book until today. Although that quote above has long been a favorite of mine, I clearly never knew which of her lovely books it came from. Inexcusable. Silver lining: there's more Austen to devour! Add the fact that the movie is being released this weekend and my Jane-loving heart is swooning.

Posted by Rachel

This Book Makes Me Happy

This year I hope
I truly learn
to fly-kick
not to kick anyone
so much as
to fly.

I’m writing this post mid grammar fair. One of my students just gave everyone a kid-size bag of pretzels after she taught us about how to use apostrophes in joint vs. individual possession.  I couldn’t help myself—two times I said, “these pretzels are making me thirsty.”  One precocious student’s eyes lit up; he parroted it back in his best George Costanza.  Seinfeld has that effect on people.  I love stuff that has a long-lasting effect on me.

I won’t soon forget the book I just finished reading to the boys: Inside Out and Back Again.  Luke and Jonah enjoyed it; I loved it.  They knew nothing about the fall of a place named Saigon.  Nor could they understand a 10-year-old girl’s plight of leaving home with only one personal item for a place as foreign as the moon: Alabama. This beautiful novel-in-verse naturally inspires empathy for refugees.  Remarkably, it doesn’t come off feeling heavy as much as heart-warming. And it will leave you thinking about Kim Ha and her family for some time.

Posted by Tracy